Much to Say

Well, here we are again. Updating..if you can even call it that. I went from blogging weekly to quarterly. Oh, well. Here it is...and this one will be a little different...

There is much happening around the Rollins home these days. The last three months have proven to be some of the busiest ever. There have been moments its been a little to crazy but we can't complain...we are learning much.

Chad has continued working as the Interim Student Pastor at our church and we are pretty much just crazy about our middle school, high school and college students. There is not enough room on this page for me to express what the Lord has worked in our hearts and what He has taught us. We are humbled. Truly humbled. I can't even begin expressing the joy that overwhelms my heart as I watch and minister alongside my precious, Chad. There are only a few who can truly know what a miracle this is-to God be all of the glory.

With our ministry at FBC Lake Butler we have traveled quite a bit this summer. There have been 3 student trips, I have been on all 3, Chad on 2. Orlando, Georgia and North Carolina. Chad did a great job organizing and planning our "Summer, Student Weekend." We took about 25 teenagers to Georgia for a packed 3 days. This was a HUGE learning experience for us and sweet highlight of our summer for sure! James was able to join us when we went to Georgia, along with my sweet parents who came and helped with James while celebrating their 30th wedding anniversary. Although we are thankful the fall will bring a little more routine(and a bedtime before 1am) we have loved it all.

Shortly after finishing our trips...it was wedding time. I along with Sarah and a wonderful team of people had been working on the details for Rachel's wedding. James and I packed up about 5 days before the wedding and headed to Gainesville. Thus began many late nights of decor details and flowers, flowers and more flowers. Let me just say this, the Lord was so kind in it all. What a glorious day! What a joyous covenant! (did I mention...James was IN the wedding too!!) Sweet times!

James is growing like a weed. He looks taller everyday! He is ALL boy. Trains, trucks, footballs, soccer balls, dirt, water, swords...you name it. He loves it all. Because he spends much of his time with teenagers and college students, he considers many of them his best friends and on any given day one them is over playing. (In his imagination) Of course...Bella is still his top pick, though. :) Some of my current favorite "James" phrases are:

"First came Moses, then came baby Moses, did you know that Dad?"

"I go to Disney World today." (this is everyday)

"Mommy, you look cross." (watches to much British television) ie: "Thomas the Train"

"I need to go to the nursery and scream." (Needs to go?? lol)

"Tim Tebow not eat green beans." (nice try, son)

So much fun, so thankful for this sweet stage.

...No new word on our second adoption. Just waiting and trusting.

Switching gears a bit....something I desire most to share in this update is what the Lord is teaching us, specifically me. Here is transparency.

God continues to work in our lives to strip of us of the things that we rely upon instead of Him.

In all of the travels, the fun, the business, the ministry, the toddler days...God has continued to reveal to me over and over again how much Amber depends on Amber. You would have thought I would have made some progress through the season of Chad's illness...well, maybe...but even so, my flesh is weak. This is a new season, and I am learning much about "new seasons." As a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a "youth intern's" wife...Amber depends way to much on Amber. It amazes me every day at how quickly I battle this. I really feel inadequate to express this rightly...so you will just have to trust me...I bow to the idol of self-sufficiency, daily. Oh, how through the events and happenings of this summer God has chastened me and revealed this so strongly in my heart. I am humbled as I see the increase God has given in many areas despite myself. For this, I bless His name. He is good.

I have learned, pure motive or impure motive, I cannot say "yes" to everything. To do so is prideful.

I do require more than 4 hours of sleep a night, to pretend to be "super-wife" "super-mom"..."super-woman"..."super-whatever"...is once again...prideful.

You can only go so long living on stored up "meat" from the Word, while feeding yourself "milk" in the meantime and lay your intimate time with the Lord aside on the altar of business.

In my roles as wife and mother, if I allow it, my flesh gains great ground with guilt. I must live under the blood more freely than I do. The book of Isiah is a good place to start.

God has given me a tremendous treasure in my husband. Who forebears, constantly. This is grace.

I must not only acknowledge and confess the sin of self sufficiency but I must remove the things in my life that bring glory to Amber. This is where it really hurts. This is necessary. This is where I am.

God has been kind, He has not only blessed and allowed for much joy in the recent months He has been kind to teach, so patiently, to convict, so gently. To give grace, upon grace, upon grace.

So much still to learn, so much change up ahead. My heart melts as to know, "He who began a good work will be faithful to complete it." Phil 1: 6

My Jesus, I love thee. I know Thou art mine. My gracious Redeemer, my Savior art Thou, if ever I love thee, my Jesus tis now.